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About this site.

There were years I tried to convince Aaron to make a website, I would tell him I’d do it and we’d monetize it. His answer was always the same – “No” a small laugh, a shake of his head and then another “No”. “But, man it would make so much money you can sell or sorts of stuff and I’d even give you 25% of the revenue!” Here  I am making his website, but in memory. I’ve been working on this for awhile, since his diagnosis, but always stopped myself before launching it. I suppose I wasn’t ready and that the realization that, man I am actually doing a website for Aaron, just would always stop me in my tracks. I’m happy to finally be able to launch this quietly on his birthday, and a few days before the memorial.

Today was the memorial and I said a few words but the reality is it so hard for me to express what he meant to me. I know I didn’t get to fully express myself because it was so hard but this is another reason for this site. I know from talking to many at the memorial, some wanted to say things but just couldn’t, some weren’t there due to time constraints and some just we’re just not ready. Aaron and I both would never want anyone to have any regrets, so here is the opportunity to say a few words or maybe a few fun stories if you didn’t have the opportunity.

When I had the concept for this site, I knew it would help me heal (really not sure if I can ever) but it is going to help me cope with the situation. I know Aaron would have loved this site, and not because it’s for him – but it’s for you the ones who loved him. My hopes are that perhaps in some way shape or form this could be purposed as a positive thing for you.

Us by Jim

To say he was special to me is an understatement. He would refer to me as his brother at times, and being both only children – I don’t think we really had a frame of reference for that. It is so hard to summarize what he meant to me but the pain and sense of loss is indescribable. He was a someone there for me in the beginning of my life, and we spent nearly everyday together, doing everything together from the age of 5  until 18. We played with toys, raided the fridge endlessly (sorry Mattie), played soccer, video games endlessly, flew kites (yes stunt kites), skateboarded,  and played competitive tennis. Whatever it was, we did it together, they’ll be plenty of more stories to share of course. Eventually he moved away for college and I decided to get on a bus and just go to California. Wherever we went, it always came back to us – no matter the distance or where we were at in life, we were somehow there for each other. The only time we were ever out of contact was perhaps during his college years and what I call my “early California years”. When Myspace came along we really reconnected, he was moving furniture and cooking at a bunch of places. The bond was never broken even though there was so much distance, as you may know the guy hated emails and texts – so of course it was tough but we still updated each other. I didn’t really know about his life in Columbus and he didn’t know about my life in California, we would just talk about what’s happening and about how we were – a common question was, “so are you happy?”. Often times when you ask someone, “how are you” the response is fairly generic. With us it was always truly about how you are doing and where are you in life. When I eventually married 8 years ago and my wife was pregnant, it was mandatory that he came to meet her. He’s been coming to see us almost every year and if we went on vacation, we’d meet him there – of course who else would do the pillow fights with his godson, Ethan.

As kids we often spent many days and nights talking about what we were going to do when we’re old, what we will be when we grow up. We both decided we’ll just do whatever is cool and what we like – everything else would just “suck”. So as we grew into men, we did just that. It was amazing to see him create the life he wanted and live the life that he created. We had totally different paths but, again, it was similar because we ended up doing what we love and doing it the way we wanted, regardless of who tells us what to do or how we should live. Live with no regrets.

He was always amazed at the things I could do with my skillset, and I was always amazed with his. Some people have said we must have complimented each other, but the reality was our abilities never transferred to one another, we just loved each other for who we were. As kids we never knew what paths we were on, but we knew who we were, and had a love for the person and what their core values were.

When we were young I would remember just going to parks with him or walking – we walked everywhere, miles and miles. He would lay down and look up at the clouds and say look at that, it’s pretty. He would stop and pick up twigs or bugs and look at them. He would stop and smell roses and just appreciate nature. He loved being alive and took the time to appreciate life. It was almost like he wanted to take his time with life, because he knew life was short and wanted to maximize his time he had with everyone.

That’s the simple truth of why he was so great for the world – and why everyone loved him, he took his time. He cared so deeply about those he loved and was fiercely loyal to those he cared about. He gave unconditionally and gave his all in whatever he did. He didn’t care about superficial things or having a lavish lifestyle, he cared about making things that were nice and making people happy.

I always knew he would do great things in life. Not in terms of earning tons of money, or inventing things, or winning a Nobel peace prize, but I always knew he was going to do great things. I really didn’t know what it would be until he passed and I finally realized that his greatness was his humanity and being great for those he loved.

They always say you never realize what you have until it’s gone. I’m happy to say, with Aaron, we always realized what we had together early on and appreciated each other. Grab your friend or someone you love and let them know how much they mean to you, we always did.

Aaron, I hear you and got every message you’ve sent from the wherever you are.